George’s knee had now swelled up like a balloon. They had kicked him over and over again until they knew he was too injured to keep playing. George’s team’s knees were cut and torn and caked in sticky brown mud. The last thing that George wanted to do was stand up and face this frightening team again, but he had never been in a Hurling County Final before and knew that this would probably be his last and he wasn’t going home without a cup in his hands. So he dragged himself up again and stumbled towards the ball.
Emily Mc Grath
There are some excellent descriptions in your story, Emily. ‘Swelled up like a balloon’ is particularly good and I also like ‘caked in sticky brown mud’. It is so clear form the way you have told your story just how hard it is for George and his team to play and win, but also how very important it is to them.